There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hary and hairier, Till a prince from Peru Who came up for a screw Had to hunt for her c*nt with a terrier. ------------ The last time I dined with the King He did quite a curious thing: He sat on a stool And took out his tool, And said, “If I play, will you sing?” ------------ There once was a guy named Dave, Who dug up a whore from a grave. She was moldy and sh1tty, And only had one titty But look at the money he saved! ------------ A lady who lives in Madras Has a truly magnificent ass. It is not round and pink, As you probably think, But is grey, has long ears, and eats grass. ------------- My back aches, my pussy is sore, I simply can’t fcuk any more, I’m covered with sweat, And you haven’t come yet, And my God, it’s a quarter to four! --------------- Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs, “The men like to spread my two legs, Then slip in between, If you know what I mean, And leave me the white of their eggs.” ---------------- There was a young fellow named Rummy Who delighted in whipping his dummy. He played pocket pool With his happy old tool Till his shorts and his pants were all cummy --------------- There once was a man from Madras whose balls were spun out of brass When he rubbed them together They played “Stormy Weather” And lightning shot out of his ass --------------- Two roosters in one of our pens Found their pricks were no larger than wens. As they looked at their foreskins And wished they had more skins, They discovered they’d both become hens. --------------- A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along, And, unless I am wrong, You expected this line to be lewd. -------------- There was a young lady called Dawn Who wished she had never been born. She wouldn’t have been If her father had seen That the end of his rubber was torn. ---------------- There once was a woman from Wheeling Who had a funny horny feeling So she laid on her back And tickled her crack, And squirted all over the ceiling! --------------- There was a young lady named Brewer Who was riding a bike when it threw her. A man saw her there With her legs in the air And seized the occasion to screw her.
