Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes.
The less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired.
A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses - medicine.
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they'd come get him.
A woman is like a suitcase: both hard to carry and a pity to throw away.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend is in the future.
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
There is 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you I LOVE YOU.