This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe. She says “Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you’d like to come into my bedroom.” Santa responds “Ho! Ho ...
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey - he's always stuffed!
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Christmas dinner is just like any other dinner to me sitting at the table with a fat bird that doesn’t gobble anymore!
My wife just came and sat on my lap and asked me what I am getting her for Christmas. I’m shaving this fcuking beard off first thing tomorrow.
Last year I told the kids there was no Father Christmas, this year I’m telling the wife.
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.