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Best God Jokes

Popular categories: College Family School Police Political Office Love Single One liner
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited on the eve of the millennium to have dinner with God. After a little bit of small talk, God informed them that he would be destroying the earth the next day. Upon ... Read full
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Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.
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After church service, a little boy tells his pastor that he is going to give him a lot of money when he grows up. "Well, thank you," the pastor replies. "But why?" The little boy says, "Because my daddy says you're one o ... Read full
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Adam was lonely, so he asked God for company. God agreed, but said, "Don't let her in the water." Adam agreed and Eve appeared the next day. Adam was so excited, he went in the lake to get cleaned up. Eve wanted to go in ... Read full
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Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in heaven?" God replied, "$1 million." Joe asked, "How long is a minute in heaven?" God said, "One million years." Joe asked for a penny. God said, "Sure, in a minute."
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This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sou ... Read full
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I used to wonder, how come you can't graduate church? It ain't but one book -- can't we finish this one book?
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t st ... Read full
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Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these ... Read full
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A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two m ... Read full
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