A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. “Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?” “Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a y ... Read full
When you die your voice gets added to the Big Bang Theory laugh track.
Tonight’s OCD meeting is on, off, on, off, on.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
I told the medium that my wife had died in a horrific traffic accident, when she’d walked out after we’d had a row. For half an hour we sat there in silence, watching the ouija board. “That’ll be £50 please,” ... Read full
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me… Then plug me back in, see if that works.
Murdered for immortality. Received life sentence.
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
“What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath? Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.”